More Ways My Wife and I Healed Our Marriage - Part II

 Ways My Wife and I Healed Our Marriage - Part II

In the first article I wrote about healing our marriage on Oct. 27, 2010 I discussed several things including the commitment, humility, seeking help, a schedule and a dedication to find and spend quality time with each other.  

These are awesome foundations for any relationship in my opinion.  And I'm not here to give medical and/or therapeutic advice of any kind.  

So let's jump into more things.  First discover each others basic needs.  How?  Ask each other.  And if there is not a direct answer then ask it this way:  What makes you feel the best inside emotionally that I do?  Now for my wife it's quality time and affection.  And for me it's verbal affirmation.  If she tells me how awesome I am man I'm on top of the world.  If I spend an evening with her just talking and loving on her then she is the most pleasant thing in the world.  

So after you know what each others basic needs are then you must concentrate on filling them because if you don't someone else will.  And be specific with each other about those needs.  It's like if you apply for a job with a company and you get the job, if they don't give you a job description you will have no idea what to expect right?  Well it's the same way in your relationship - you can't assume this!!!  If you are not clear about your expectations then your man or woman will have no idea what you expect of them which will spell disaster.  

Now this brings me to another point and that is being aware of how each other behave if you are NOT filling their needs.  So you can hell at them and set them straight?  NO!  The reason is that when your wife lashes out at you instead of acting like a two year old, being part of the systems of the worlds pride by saying "who do you think you are treating me like that" which is like a foolish man who has no understanding, you can have great understanding and wisdom.  First think about if her love tank is full or completely empty - often problem solved immediately!  Or you can ask honey what's really bothering you?  Is it our finances?  Am I not paying enough attention to you?  

Just ask questions until you get to the bottom of if and do it with all gentleness.  It works - it does for me.  But a vengeful fit of rage will get you know where!

Get rid of your bitterness!  Things did not get bad overnight and they might get great overnight so be patient with each other or you only be frustrated.  

That's a bit to chew on for now.  We will add more soon - Thanks.

Billy Damore

How Do I know If He Really Loves Me or Just Wants Me Around For Sex? Part I

How Do I know If He Really Loves Me or Just Wants Me Around For Sex? 

This is an excellent question and deserves a few good answers.  First let's have a look at how he treats your family.  Does he take a vested interest in your family or does he isolate himself and put them down?  He should want to spend time with them and love them because they are part of your family.

The second thing is how does he treat his mother?  With respect?  Or is he always putting her down?  I mean his mother is not perfect I'm sure, but she is still his mother.  So it could be a reflection of how he will treat you.  

Now about sex, does he demand it or not?  I mean how does he treat you?  That's the most important question I'm going to ask.  Is your cup full or not?  If you give him what he wants does he give you what you want?  

Realize what fills your love tank is it dinner, movies, romantic walks, shopping - what is it?  If he knows what fills your cup does he do those things or not?  And that my friend is one of the most important questions I will ask.  And it's what you need to ask yourself.  I mean does he pay attention to you?  Does he consider you?  If he does not do these things then he either has no idea what to expect (and this is actually very possible) or he does not love you enough to put forth the rewarding effort.  

Are his friends and work more important than you?  I mean true love is a sacrifice that is well worth it! 

Just think about these things. I have much more to add in another post - thanks!

Billy Damore

Easy And Simple Ideas On How To Get Back With Your Ex - You Can Do It!

Simple Ideas How To Get Back With Your Ex

Learning how to get back with your ex is important to you because they may very well be the best thing for you. You weren't ready for that relationship to end. If it was a dating relationship that ended or a marriage that for some reason turned ugly and ended in divorce, it could be that there may be a second chance. If you aren't ready to give up on that love that got away you will want to know how to get back with your ex.

If love was once there then the possibility for it still being there may be real. You may not be able to turn back the clock or make the mistakes disappear but you can give that love another chance to live again. If you have both been able to step back away from the mistake(s) and have been given enough time to breathe you may be able to come back together just to talk. You won't want to rush right back into it though.

There were problems that interrupted the romance. You need to make sure that you are able to move past it and have any unresolved issues resolved. How can you think about starting where you left off if where you left off was a bad place. Work through the problems. If you can't then you won't be able to get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend for very long.

The break up may have happened because of one event. It could have been because of that one behavior that one of you couldn't handle the other doing. Whatever the problem was you need to find out how to either accept deal with the problem or find out how it can be fixed.

If the issue was one cheating on the other, that may be hard to overcome. Trust has been broken and getting that trust back will be difficult. Overcoming a heartbreak because of that is difficult and it needs to be given both time and a reason to believe that there can be trust again. This is an area that marriage counseling or other type of couple's therapy can be helpful.

It is important not to come across as needy. You may feel desperate to get them back but this will only be seen as something that will give your ex power over you. You need to seem confident and that you are OK with yourself. The more confident you feel, the more likely they are going to be impressed with you and find you attractive once again.

More than anything If you want to know how to get back with your ex, you are going to be confident that it is the right thing to do. Always ask yourself if this is the right thing to do. Make sure that you are going to be better off with them than you are without them. If it is only going to turn bad again then all your work trying to figure out how to get back with your ex will have been in vain.

 

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Fun Dating - Exciting Dating

Fun and Exciting Dating


If you have been in a serious relationship for some time and it has recently ended maybe you just need to just have fun dating for a little while. It might be a little difficult to get yourself back out there especially if you are a little older and have not been dating for a while but you just need to get back on the horse, so to speak. It will come back to you in no time.

Obviously, the first step is to find someone to date. There are several ways to accomplish this. You can join an online dating site and fill out a profile to see who they match you up with, or you can go to a church function for singles and see if there is someone there you are interested in dating, you can get fixed up with someone by a friend or family member, or you can try to meet someone on your own in the produce section of the super market.

However you do this part makes no difference. When it does happen you will need to come up with some fun dating ideas to keep things interesting and keep them coming back for more. The first date is important because that it when you find out if you actually like each other and usually get through the awkward stage of not knowing what to say all through the date. sometimes those silent times can be brutal, not to mention embarrassing and can ruin any chance for creating a relationship.

If you did get through the first date unscathed and you have agreed to give a second date a try then you need to plan out what to do and how you are going to have fun. Have you seen the movie, The Lake House? At one point in the movie he takes her on a walk through the city, pointing out his favorite building facade architectures and how the light of the day plays off those facades. The only problem is they are living two years apart and can only communicate by placing letters and a map to the city in the mailbox at the lake house.

I know it's only a movie but you can do something similar together. Pack a walking lunch and get a map to your favorite place. Maybe you do not need a map if it is your favorite place. Or use the map to look at things that lead up to your favorite place. Keeping things interesting is a sure bet to getting a third date.

You can always use the old standbys like karaoke night at your favorite watering hole, dinner and a movie, or taking them to a comedy club. Making them laugh is always a good thing but you may want to be a little more creative than that. The more fun dating ideas you come up with the more interesting they will think you are and they will want to spend more time with you. 

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Shy and Dating Is Still Very Possible - Be Free!

Shy and Dating Is Still Very Possible

If you happen to be the type of person who is painfully shy, dating is most likely very hard for you and you may even think it is totally out of the question. Well, I am here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. Whether you are 15 or 35 you can overcome your shyness and begin dating that one person you have had your eye on without making a fool of yourself.

You have probably heard it all before. People tell you how pretty you are and you should be having no trouble finding a date. What they do not see, or get, is that it does not matter in the least that you are pretty and have a nice smile, you are just too shy to even carry on a conversation with another person.

You may just be timid, bashful, introverted, or shy. All of which can be overcome maybe with a little therapy or just teaching yourself how to take chances. Dare yourself to go start a conversation with someone you do not know. Just walk right up and introduce yourself. Reach out and shake their hand, ask a question and get the conversation started.

Don't know what to say? Tell them you like a certain article of clothing they are wearing and ask where they got it. Simple, but be prepared for a very short answer. They may say I don't know or give you just the name of the store. In that case, tell them that whatever article of clothing it is really brings out the color of their eyes. When they smile and say 'thank you', you will be well on your way to making a new friend if nothing else and shy dating may start to be a thing of the past.

If, on the other hand, you have a condition called Social Anxiety Disorder then no matter what you want to do, you will not be able to. Social anxiety is the fear associated with performing, like speaking in public or interacting in front of a classroom of your fellow students.

Social anxiety is a very specific disorder and there is a specific place and time that you fear, such as, you going to the grocery store or into a restaurant by yourself. What you need to know first thing is, you are not alone. Social anxiety affects approximately one out of every eight people and usually will get worse with time.

In the area of treatment, there are very few programs available mostly because the people who are affected are too anxious or even embarrassed to seek out help. So therapy programs have not been developed to help the people afflicted with this disorder.

For someone who is withdrawn, dating is difficult but not out of the realm of possibility. For someone with social anxiety just making it through from day to day is nearly impossible due to feelings of shame, humiliation and embarrassment and dating is not even a consideration.

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Dating Sites For Teenagers - Keep Them Safe

Dating Sites For Teenagers - Keep Them Safe

If you are researching dating sites for teenagers, you are probably surprised as to what you are finding. A big, fat 0, none, zip, zilch, nada. There are none, unless you count the social networking sites. But do they really count? Seriously, if your child is on any one of these social networking sites, who are they really talking to? Kids their age they already know. The same kids they go to school with.

Of course, they can meet other people online but if you are the parent shouldn't you be monitoring what sites they go to or blocking certain things they can do on the internet? Yes, you should be.

Dating sites for teens would not only be a bad idea, it would be very dangerous. There is enough trouble out there without having to ask for it or invite it right into your living room. Keep your teens safe and encourage them to only talk to or date within their group or high school. This way you know who they are seeing and they can stay safe. That is our bottom line as parents, right? To keep our kids safe.

The online dating services are for adults who are 18 years of age or older. Teenagers should not be allowed to participate in these online dating services. I am sure there a a number of teens who lie about their age to gain access to these services but if they do they are not only lying but they are opening themselves up to what could end up being a very dangerous game that they cannot possibly win.

Of course, we all know how quickly things can change and between the time I write this and the time you read it there may well be dating sites for teens. If so, just make sure that you look everything over before your teen gets online. Find out the terms of service, the privacy policy, how much if any screening is done (hint, they almost never do any real screening when someone fills out an application so it's best to assume they may be lying about who they really are).

Even smart teens can do dumb things. It's up to you as a parent to remind them that the people they 'meet' online may not be who they say they are. Remind them to never give out personal information like where they live, the name of the school they go to, etc. An online predator can use the most seemingly safe information to locate someone in the offline world.

Great, you're probably thinking, just when I have enough to worry about when it comes to keeping my kids safe now I have to worry about dating sites for teenagers, too? Try not to worry too much, though, as long as you talk to your teens and make sure that they are following the rules, by checking up on them often, you may actually be able to get a little sleep at night.

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Flirting Dating - First Steps To Love

Flirting Dating - First Steps To Love



If you are successful at flirting, dating will follow closely. So, how do you become successful at flirting? First, you have to know that flirting is an important step in attracting someone you are interested in. Flirting is fundamental but can also be very complicated. If you have ever watched a nature show yo can see that flirting is not just important to humans but that all species flirt with each other in some form, whether it is a mating dance or a sound they make to attract one another. flirting is very important.

There is so much advice out there for each one of us to follow on how to flirt with one another and this step is just as important as anything else but, what kind of advice can you find about how to know someone is flirting with you? How do you recognize the signs?

Have they smiled at you? If you caught someone's eye and they smiled, this is a sign they are flirting. When you caught their eye did the eye contact hold your attention for more than a moment? They are flirting dating will surely follow. If you are interested, return the smile or hold the look for a little longer.

Are they getting closer to you by walking by your table? Have they changed tables to be closer to you? If this is happening, they want your attention and possibly to get to know you better.

If you are a guy and there is a woman who seems like she is interested, she will somehow draw attention to her mouth. Either by applying lip gloss or playing with the straw in her glass with her tongue. A woman's lips can absolutely drive you crazy with temptation.

She may also remove herself from her group of friends and isolate herself so the two of you can find a spot to be by yourselves and start to get to know each other. If she smiles and makes eye contact and chooses to stay with her group of friends she may be too shy to step away from the comfort of her friends and you may have to approach her but you must be very careful, her friends will try to protect her.

If she has broken away from her 'pack' and the two of you do find yourselves alone. Do not be surprised to see that she starts sitting the same way you are, or holding her drink they way you are. If you notice that she is doing these things she is probably very interested in you.

Other signs she is flirting with you are, playing with her hair, touching herself, or touching you. She may twirl her hair or let some of it fall into her face to try on a more sexy look for you. She may also touch her arms or her own hands so you look where she is touching. As the evening progresses she may elevate her touching to your hand, arm, or shoulder.

Now would be a good time to return the touch. Just be careful to only touch a spot on her that she has touched on you. Otherwise you could be immediately labeled a pervert and she will get angry and walk away.

If everything has gone on without a hitch up to this point and she decides to enter your personal space, you can rest assured that she is very interested in you. If you are confident that you now know how to read the signs of flirting dating is the obvious next step.

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